Family of Suicide Deaths - coping with difficulties, making sense, acceptance and moving on

Two suicide reports have caught my attention in the last few days.

The unfortunate, unexpected and sudden demise of inseparable adorable couple Marc and Cher Thomson has shocked Sydney - from their families, customers, other restaurant owners to all food lovers.  The restaurant is closed according to the website.

Most of us know that restaurants especially high end and fine dining are facing stiff competition, stringent regulatory boards and council scrutiny, high rental, staff shortage and costs, not to mention the long hours, hard work and high sunk in investments. Even a good turnover does not promise any profit after deducting all the expenses. Many local businesses are actually struggling despite healthy picture compared to the US and most ailing European economies.

Why should we be surprised? The trouble is we are too busy with our own lives that we do not seek or start asking until it is too late. Prevention is always better than cure. 

Unlike distress from bullying leading to deaths, there are few signals from those who are bent on ending it all.  These are likely to be highly driven and tenacious people who have tried everything and finally decided to give up. Pride and honour meant more than going through hell in life. It would not be an "attempt" as there is no turning back. 

Nevertheless, even the best kept secret will reveal some tell-tale signs. Even if you are not equipped with the knowledge and skills to deal with psychological issues, it helps to take notice and show care.  Better be safe than sorry - check if you sense that a depressed or anxious friend or relative is not their usual self and going downhill? This would be a good start to prevent an unhappy ending. 

The death of American researcher Shane Todd has gained more publicly in the ensuing court case. His parents are obviously in denial to have challenged the coroner's suicide verdict which even the FBI has concurred. The older Todds could not accept that their precious son, despite having bouts depression during his university days and showing signs of unhappiness with his work, could take his own life.

Instead, imaginations have run wild with hypotheses of Sino-Singapore conspiracy against America and murder made to look like suicide being thrown up. Death is no laughing matter but the exchanges in court are replete with themes found in spy movies. Like those who have passed on, the living are too proud and disappointed with the reality.

Compassion goes to all those who have lost their love ones under such tragic circumstances.  The living suffers as much if not more than the dead. Help may not be too far for bereaved families overcome their grief, gain support and comfort and better understanding.  

Ume Restaurant, Sydney

Plum Flower Fine Dining is not a place you would go to when you are very hungry.

Even though it has adopted the hip "sharing is caring" social style like most modern fine dining places in Surry Hills, customers would really need to order more than one dish per course per person. 

The environment may not be elitist posh, but since the owner/chef was a protege of Tetsuya, you could expect artistic presentation and soulful culinary skills. 

True to its Japanese roots, the restaurant offers a wide range of rice wines to match the food.

The scampi was highly recommended going by past reviews. However, I found this quite soft rather than firm, oily and slimy, which may not agree with some people. 

The yuzu jelly was a novelty as bubbles exudes juices with every bite of seafood. 

Many customers have given rave reviews of the seared scallops as a good choice from the entree menu. 

The mains are a little bit more substantial compared to entrees

Wagyu beef with vegetable and rice crisp. Carefully slow cooked, the meat is tender and the vegetable nicely roasted. Then again, the portion is small for the price they charge.

The crispy barrumundi was as described. Contrary to some reviews that the fish was marshy, I think it was superbly done. Stepped in seaweed stock, it is soothing to the palate.  

There are not many dessert options. 

The pineapple with green tea ice-cream and berries did not have any hint of Japaneseness but it was delicious nonetheless. 

Innovative and interesting sesame sponge

The menu changes from time to time, according to the availability of the freshest ingredients in season, an excuse to keep customers coming back. 

http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/restaurants-and-bars/restaurant-review-ume-20120707-21ncn.html

The restaurant is well patronised during the weekend. With a small area, it is quickly filled up. This establishment probably has viably good business but we won't say that it's thriving. Unless you are loaded with cash, it is not a place which you would frequent. There are many Japanese modern fusion restaurants all over Sydney city and northern suburbs that offer degustation at less or almost the same price. 

Outsourcing at irrational scale to serve greedy or desperate employers and investors -- emptying local employment, middle class hardest hit

It has been a rough ride for middle class Australians in the last couple of years.  I'm not even talking about ever rising prices of electricity, food, housing, transport, medical, insurance and other basic necessities. It is more challenging to hold a job with decent income to support your family for those with more responsibilities than self sustenance.

No longer does a good education and specialized skill guarantee you job security till pass middle age.

Starting with manufacturing, we thought that higher value added jobs could be retained locally. Not any more. IT (information technology), accounting services, and now legal services can be outsourced on a massive scale. Employers have no qualms about taking the sledge hammer to export jobs, with little consideration to coordination, sensitivity of information and understanding of local environment.

Labour intensive  -- Low cost component -- Assembly / Semi-skilled processes -- Design -- Innovation

Every industry and sector has no qualms and almost ridiculously competing to outsource each other -  textile/garment, light industry, banks, construction, telco, airlines, financial services, etc.  Eventually, when labour of developing nations become more highly educated, skilled and creative, which they will catch up with us sooner than later, even designing and innovative jobs can be shipped overseas.  Only few food and personal services and care could not be outsourced.

Just because everyone is doing it does not make it alright.

Despite the political soundbites in favour of protecting local jobs, there is little the federal or state government could do to interfere with private business decisions.

http://www.change.org/en-AU/petitions/prime-minister-julia-gillard-stop-outsourcing-australian-jobs-2

Hypocritically, even local governments contemplate outsourcing jobs.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/it-pro/government-it/councils-job-outsourcing-plans-breach-eba-union-20130107-2ccy0.html

On the surface, it makes good economic sense, from the employers' point of view. Capitalist economic theories teach us to the benefits of division of labour and comparative advantage. It's good for business by lowering to cost, doing what we are best at, and maximisig profits. Welcome to the real world of globalisation and competition. It does not take into consideration social stability and compromise quality of services.

No matter how hard you have worked, giving up your health and best part of your life and time, and no matter how good you may be at your job, and contributed to your company's growth and profits, employers can be ruthless and have skilled efficient workers who do not fit into their short term purely cost (not even profit) driven gameplan to cut jobs. The air of distrust and low morale pervades many workplaces of today. It is no wonder more people are falling sick, especially work anxiety.

If jobs can be neatly compartmentalized, could be performed efficiently and cheaply by skilled workers in India, China, Indonesia and Vietnam. We have nothing against individual workers overseas as they too need to make a living and probably work under less enviable terms and conditions.

The real culprits who should be made to answer the questions are the heartless creatures who decide on making every opportunity to outsource, regardless of its suitability. Mindless restructuring and outsourcing has created a vacuum. A small percentage of former staff laid off by companies have been re-employed as contract staff at higher salaries to fill the gaps that foreign labour are unable to accomplish. There you have a dumb decision immediately exposed. There will come a time, and it should be sooner, that senior management could be outsourced too, for making silly mistakes.

Adjustments are invariably difficult and take a long time to achieve positive results, if they in fact do so.  Our education reforms have met with funding shortage and strong resistance from educationists, parents and politicians. We would be hard pressed to develop relevant skills to keep jobs locally.

Depreciation of the unrealistically high Aussie dollar is inevitable. Australian goods and services have become uncompetitive. Life has been good to us in the recent past thanks to the mining boom. Australian travellers have been able to stretch the value of their dollar and enjoy during good times.

However, with the slowdown in exports, rising unemployment, high living costs and mortgage (despite rate decrease) becomes more painful.

To be employed and have a gainful employment for a large part of our lives is a basic human right. It is useless to talk about esoteric theories and ideals when we can't even carry on with decency and dignity.

This is going to be a cold, harsh and long winter.