Family of Suicide Deaths - coping with difficulties, making sense, acceptance and moving on

Two suicide reports have caught my attention in the last few days.

The unfortunate, unexpected and sudden demise of inseparable adorable couple Marc and Cher Thomson has shocked Sydney - from their families, customers, other restaurant owners to all food lovers.  The restaurant is closed according to the website.

Most of us know that restaurants especially high end and fine dining are facing stiff competition, stringent regulatory boards and council scrutiny, high rental, staff shortage and costs, not to mention the long hours, hard work and high sunk in investments. Even a good turnover does not promise any profit after deducting all the expenses. Many local businesses are actually struggling despite healthy picture compared to the US and most ailing European economies.

Why should we be surprised? The trouble is we are too busy with our own lives that we do not seek or start asking until it is too late. Prevention is always better than cure. 

Unlike distress from bullying leading to deaths, there are few signals from those who are bent on ending it all.  These are likely to be highly driven and tenacious people who have tried everything and finally decided to give up. Pride and honour meant more than going through hell in life. It would not be an "attempt" as there is no turning back. 

Nevertheless, even the best kept secret will reveal some tell-tale signs. Even if you are not equipped with the knowledge and skills to deal with psychological issues, it helps to take notice and show care.  Better be safe than sorry - check if you sense that a depressed or anxious friend or relative is not their usual self and going downhill? This would be a good start to prevent an unhappy ending. 

The death of American researcher Shane Todd has gained more publicly in the ensuing court case. His parents are obviously in denial to have challenged the coroner's suicide verdict which even the FBI has concurred. The older Todds could not accept that their precious son, despite having bouts depression during his university days and showing signs of unhappiness with his work, could take his own life.

Instead, imaginations have run wild with hypotheses of Sino-Singapore conspiracy against America and murder made to look like suicide being thrown up. Death is no laughing matter but the exchanges in court are replete with themes found in spy movies. Like those who have passed on, the living are too proud and disappointed with the reality.

Compassion goes to all those who have lost their love ones under such tragic circumstances.  The living suffers as much if not more than the dead. Help may not be too far for bereaved families overcome their grief, gain support and comfort and better understanding.  

Suicide of nurse who connected DJs to Princess Kate - an unexpected tragedy

Kate Middleton's nurse who took her own life has been referred more to her employment rather than her name Jacintha Saldanha. Apparently her existence  was owed more to the royalty she served.

It is indeed a tragedy of the worse kind in recent times. From middle aged on, most of us would have received surprising news of deaths from causes other than terminal illnesses. Accidents and suicides that extinguish young lives are the a lot harder to accept, more so if the victims still have many good years ahead, have families who love them dearly and dependents who have most to lose with their departure. 

While it is cruel to crucify Australian DJs who are merely "doing their job" and had no intention of killing an innocent person with their pranks, they cannot totally escape indirect blame. Neither is it cool or magnanimous to absolve the two DJs from any responsibility. 

Some people are more fragile than others. Although majority may be able to sail through trials and tribulations, a minority may have complex personal issues. Setbacks could spiral into depression and resort to extreme and drastic actions to resolve their dilemma.

It cannot be denied that the victims' weak constitution, pressure of their professional pride and society's expectations are all partly to be blamed. Unfortunately, a coincidence of external events can trigger unexpected outcomes. Just because most people have the capacity and tolerance to survive pranks, bullying and backstabbing, does not mean that these actions are excusable. 

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/a-tragedy-but-who-is-at-fault-20121208-2b29q.html

It is unlikely that the case will be pursued further than the internet debate. From the legal perspective, how would the prank gone wrong be judged fairly? 


The eggshell skull rule is a legal doctrine that says the wrongdoer takes the victim in the condition he/she finds him. There is no allowance for an already weakened state of the injured party. If a defendant negligently injures someone, the defendant is responsible for all the consequences, whether they were foreseeable or not.The rule is applied in tort and criminal cases involving a plaintiff in a vulnerable, weakened state or suffering from a medical condition.

A rebuttal to the eggshell skull rule is the crumbling skull rule. This rule argues that the harm suffered by the victim was inevitable and the defendant's acts only had a minimal effect upon the already deteriorating circumstances.

http://definitions.uslegal.com/e/eggshell-skull/

In real life, incidents cannot be measured in legal terms. Human viewpoints influenced by individuals' values and experiences would continue to shout across cyberspace. These noises are unlikely to help the victims' families. Given our short memories and inability to reconcile differences, these incidents will make a mark but sadly may not help us to avoid similar tragedies in future.