Family of Suicide Deaths - coping with difficulties, making sense, acceptance and moving on

Two suicide reports have caught my attention in the last few days.

The unfortunate, unexpected and sudden demise of inseparable adorable couple Marc and Cher Thomson has shocked Sydney - from their families, customers, other restaurant owners to all food lovers.  The restaurant is closed according to the website.

Most of us know that restaurants especially high end and fine dining are facing stiff competition, stringent regulatory boards and council scrutiny, high rental, staff shortage and costs, not to mention the long hours, hard work and high sunk in investments. Even a good turnover does not promise any profit after deducting all the expenses. Many local businesses are actually struggling despite healthy picture compared to the US and most ailing European economies.

Why should we be surprised? The trouble is we are too busy with our own lives that we do not seek or start asking until it is too late. Prevention is always better than cure. 

Unlike distress from bullying leading to deaths, there are few signals from those who are bent on ending it all.  These are likely to be highly driven and tenacious people who have tried everything and finally decided to give up. Pride and honour meant more than going through hell in life. It would not be an "attempt" as there is no turning back. 

Nevertheless, even the best kept secret will reveal some tell-tale signs. Even if you are not equipped with the knowledge and skills to deal with psychological issues, it helps to take notice and show care.  Better be safe than sorry - check if you sense that a depressed or anxious friend or relative is not their usual self and going downhill? This would be a good start to prevent an unhappy ending. 

The death of American researcher Shane Todd has gained more publicly in the ensuing court case. His parents are obviously in denial to have challenged the coroner's suicide verdict which even the FBI has concurred. The older Todds could not accept that their precious son, despite having bouts depression during his university days and showing signs of unhappiness with his work, could take his own life.

Instead, imaginations have run wild with hypotheses of Sino-Singapore conspiracy against America and murder made to look like suicide being thrown up. Death is no laughing matter but the exchanges in court are replete with themes found in spy movies. Like those who have passed on, the living are too proud and disappointed with the reality.

Compassion goes to all those who have lost their love ones under such tragic circumstances.  The living suffers as much if not more than the dead. Help may not be too far for bereaved families overcome their grief, gain support and comfort and better understanding.  

Fighting Home Grown Extremism

It is comforting to know that two highly educated Muslims (a university student and banker) have taken the time and effort to spread messages of peace. Too little, too late?

http://www.smh.com.au/national/peace-promoters-hope-to-nip-violent-ideologies-in-the-bud-20120205-1qzvd.html

Hopefully, more will come forward and this is not a one-off thing publicity stunt to appease Australians and quell apprehensions. These two heroes of the community must get strong community support and protection, not just in financial terms (counterterrorism funding). In the past, moderators have been afraid to be out the open for fear of being exposed to attacks by extremists. The rest of the community would be inclined along with whoever is more aggressive for fear of ostracism.

However, addressing dangers of home-grown terrorism is fraught with challenges and pitfalls. While promoting multiculturalism, certain individuals have abused their freedom. In a society governed by rule of law, under no circumstances should local tribal traditional practices prevail over secular authority and laws.
The recent trial of male family members killing four of their women folk in Canada is shocking. Sane and morally upright Muslims do not commit murders.

http://ca.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idCATRE8140QP20120205

Those people, not just Muslims, who claim to be firm and true believers and use religion to justify suppression and killing of others will not be tolerated. No one should place themselves above the law in family disputes or commercial settlement, whatever their religion might be. It should be treated no differently or even more harshly as with cases of dysfunctional families, child abuse and bullying.

Ignorance perpetuates the myth that all Muslims are extremists. This must be altered through education for a terrorist is not born but groomed. The fact is that followers of Islam are a diverse group with different emphasis. Many are moderate and observe the cultural heritage, able to think and adapt to enhance peace living among communities of today. More importantly, poverty and social problems which are often the root causes of crimes and terrorism should be examined and redressed.

In the longer term, demonstrating that Australia sincerely adopts a level playing field in domestic and international arena would deprive home-grown of any excuses to destroy fellow human beings.