Family of Suicide Deaths - coping with difficulties, making sense, acceptance and moving on

Two suicide reports have caught my attention in the last few days.

The unfortunate, unexpected and sudden demise of inseparable adorable couple Marc and Cher Thomson has shocked Sydney - from their families, customers, other restaurant owners to all food lovers.  The restaurant is closed according to the website.

Most of us know that restaurants especially high end and fine dining are facing stiff competition, stringent regulatory boards and council scrutiny, high rental, staff shortage and costs, not to mention the long hours, hard work and high sunk in investments. Even a good turnover does not promise any profit after deducting all the expenses. Many local businesses are actually struggling despite healthy picture compared to the US and most ailing European economies.

Why should we be surprised? The trouble is we are too busy with our own lives that we do not seek or start asking until it is too late. Prevention is always better than cure. 

Unlike distress from bullying leading to deaths, there are few signals from those who are bent on ending it all.  These are likely to be highly driven and tenacious people who have tried everything and finally decided to give up. Pride and honour meant more than going through hell in life. It would not be an "attempt" as there is no turning back. 

Nevertheless, even the best kept secret will reveal some tell-tale signs. Even if you are not equipped with the knowledge and skills to deal with psychological issues, it helps to take notice and show care.  Better be safe than sorry - check if you sense that a depressed or anxious friend or relative is not their usual self and going downhill? This would be a good start to prevent an unhappy ending. 

The death of American researcher Shane Todd has gained more publicly in the ensuing court case. His parents are obviously in denial to have challenged the coroner's suicide verdict which even the FBI has concurred. The older Todds could not accept that their precious son, despite having bouts depression during his university days and showing signs of unhappiness with his work, could take his own life.

Instead, imaginations have run wild with hypotheses of Sino-Singapore conspiracy against America and murder made to look like suicide being thrown up. Death is no laughing matter but the exchanges in court are replete with themes found in spy movies. Like those who have passed on, the living are too proud and disappointed with the reality.

Compassion goes to all those who have lost their love ones under such tragic circumstances.  The living suffers as much if not more than the dead. Help may not be too far for bereaved families overcome their grief, gain support and comfort and better understanding.  

Outsourcing at irrational scale to serve greedy or desperate employers and investors -- emptying local employment, middle class hardest hit

It has been a rough ride for middle class Australians in the last couple of years.  I'm not even talking about ever rising prices of electricity, food, housing, transport, medical, insurance and other basic necessities. It is more challenging to hold a job with decent income to support your family for those with more responsibilities than self sustenance.

No longer does a good education and specialized skill guarantee you job security till pass middle age.

Starting with manufacturing, we thought that higher value added jobs could be retained locally. Not any more. IT (information technology), accounting services, and now legal services can be outsourced on a massive scale. Employers have no qualms about taking the sledge hammer to export jobs, with little consideration to coordination, sensitivity of information and understanding of local environment.

Labour intensive  -- Low cost component -- Assembly / Semi-skilled processes -- Design -- Innovation

Every industry and sector has no qualms and almost ridiculously competing to outsource each other -  textile/garment, light industry, banks, construction, telco, airlines, financial services, etc.  Eventually, when labour of developing nations become more highly educated, skilled and creative, which they will catch up with us sooner than later, even designing and innovative jobs can be shipped overseas.  Only few food and personal services and care could not be outsourced.

Just because everyone is doing it does not make it alright.

Despite the political soundbites in favour of protecting local jobs, there is little the federal or state government could do to interfere with private business decisions.

http://www.change.org/en-AU/petitions/prime-minister-julia-gillard-stop-outsourcing-australian-jobs-2

Hypocritically, even local governments contemplate outsourcing jobs.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/it-pro/government-it/councils-job-outsourcing-plans-breach-eba-union-20130107-2ccy0.html

On the surface, it makes good economic sense, from the employers' point of view. Capitalist economic theories teach us to the benefits of division of labour and comparative advantage. It's good for business by lowering to cost, doing what we are best at, and maximisig profits. Welcome to the real world of globalisation and competition. It does not take into consideration social stability and compromise quality of services.

No matter how hard you have worked, giving up your health and best part of your life and time, and no matter how good you may be at your job, and contributed to your company's growth and profits, employers can be ruthless and have skilled efficient workers who do not fit into their short term purely cost (not even profit) driven gameplan to cut jobs. The air of distrust and low morale pervades many workplaces of today. It is no wonder more people are falling sick, especially work anxiety.

If jobs can be neatly compartmentalized, could be performed efficiently and cheaply by skilled workers in India, China, Indonesia and Vietnam. We have nothing against individual workers overseas as they too need to make a living and probably work under less enviable terms and conditions.

The real culprits who should be made to answer the questions are the heartless creatures who decide on making every opportunity to outsource, regardless of its suitability. Mindless restructuring and outsourcing has created a vacuum. A small percentage of former staff laid off by companies have been re-employed as contract staff at higher salaries to fill the gaps that foreign labour are unable to accomplish. There you have a dumb decision immediately exposed. There will come a time, and it should be sooner, that senior management could be outsourced too, for making silly mistakes.

Adjustments are invariably difficult and take a long time to achieve positive results, if they in fact do so.  Our education reforms have met with funding shortage and strong resistance from educationists, parents and politicians. We would be hard pressed to develop relevant skills to keep jobs locally.

Depreciation of the unrealistically high Aussie dollar is inevitable. Australian goods and services have become uncompetitive. Life has been good to us in the recent past thanks to the mining boom. Australian travellers have been able to stretch the value of their dollar and enjoy during good times.

However, with the slowdown in exports, rising unemployment, high living costs and mortgage (despite rate decrease) becomes more painful.

To be employed and have a gainful employment for a large part of our lives is a basic human right. It is useless to talk about esoteric theories and ideals when we can't even carry on with decency and dignity.

This is going to be a cold, harsh and long winter.

Open Book Exam - the false sense of security

Touted as a more accurate gauge of students' understanding rather than regurgitating what they had rote learnt, open book examinations are becoming more popular.

The tested favour open book examinations believing that it would be less stressful with information accessible should they get stumped. However, having through a few "open book examinations", I know that it is not as "easy" as it sounds. On the contrary, it gives the examination candidate a false sense of security and not making adequate and appropriate preparations.

An open book question rarely asks of the students to 'describe’ or or even ‘explain’. That would be too easy to simply copy the answers from the books. Only at elementary levels would the examiner be interested in knowing if the candidate has good memory of the details. Instead the examiner offering open book examination is interested to know if the candidate could apply theories and rules to problem solving. Your thinking skills are expected to be exhibited to impress upon the marker. The answers may not be straight forward, but are open-ended. Candidates are therefore expected to demonstrate critical analysis in their answers.

Hence, studying in preparation for such "free" form of examinations require a lot more time. You need to know how to navigate through the books under time contraint.

Summarise all the main points of lecture notes substantiated by details from the texts, references and readings. Pay special attention to issues highlighted by the teacher. It may be a tedious process. But hey, there's not gain without any pain.

Drawing up neatly or better still if you could type and print the page index of subject matter and topics with reference to all the text books would be very helpful. More often than not, you would notice many candidates frantically flipping through the book. This will not happen if you had a handy page guide. There won't be enough time for last minute search.

Bringing in many books into the exam hall would only serve as comforter, pacifier, a toy to calm your nerves. They are just materials of last resort when you need to quote details which you have forgotten. You don't have time to start reading through the book for the first or second time in the entire course. That's a no-no. This can cause panic attacks under stressful exam conditions.

A word of caution : open book exam is not the equivalent of open to discussion exam. I feel sorry not responding to neighbouring candidates trying to signal and elicit answers. The only persons candidates could request for help are the teacher and invigilator who may apply stringent regulations on conduct during examinations. Partaking in discussions albeit in an open book exam can result in disqualification and confiscation of exam scripts. Those who don't get caught are lucky but I won't take the risk and push my luck.

As with all examinations, try not to cram in readings till the last minute. Breathing exercises and meditation five minutes before exam commenceswill help to clear your mind and perform better.

How the hell is bloody Macbeth relevant to modern daily living? The price to pay for freebies.

“I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er.” (Act III Scene 4, 135–137; Macbeth)

Shocking! Yes, it's just an exaggeration. A appropriate way to explain it would be to describe the difficulty of sustaining momentum after being forced by circumstances. The analogy of having to continue with the process of shampoo and wash of hair once you have inadvertently or accidently wet the hair seem to fit the bill. In other words, there is no going back and too late to change one's mind.

In today's competitive e commercial world, there are heaps of alluring offers. It is FREE! Or so we believed. But think again and smarten up! There is no free lunch or free ride, perhaps, just temporarily, but not forever. The must be a catch - once the target has been hooked, they will have to be committed, because there is too much to lose by withdrawing. It would be gullible to believe that people are not profit driven, it is only a matter of degree.

It is hard to imagine yourself or your friends who are normally street wise could somehow one day land in such as predicament. Is there any sense of continuing when it is unsustainable. Should we just bite the bullet and lose 2,000 days of hard work, time and resources now than to drag and risk losing more later? Maybe it is time to write off the investments, suffer the short term pain, erase it from memory, than to pour good effort after bad? It is a dilemma that cropped up for more than a year and has yet to be resolved. I pray in search for a clear cut answer.

Ex-communication of Catholic health care administrative nun who conceded to recommended abortion

The assertive powers of the Catholic Church can be intimidating and controversial. Moral ethics changed since the 1950s are still applicable today.

Australia has a sizeable Catholic population but it is probably less controversial. My friends who follow the Catholic faith are more open minded and less dogmatic about grey areas in real life issues.

Medical personnel, ethicists and senior administrators at the hospital have unanimously assessed that an abortion was necessary and justifiable to save the life of the mother. The fate of the Sister who dedicated her life serving her parishioners and patients evoke disconcerthing thoughts.

Excerpts from the media :

Quote : [ The pregnant woman and her family were also consulted and agreed that a termination would be the best option. Sister Margaret's role was apparently to give the theological perspective.

A dogmatically pro-life figure, Olmsted had made himself something of a hero to the US anti-abortion movement.


Historian Jacob M Appel described Olmsted as having a "reputation as a particularly cold-hearted and intransigent figure" who had "gained notoriety for refusing communion to a 10-year-old autistic child who could not swallow". He added, "Thanks to men like Mr Olmsted, obtaining obstetric care at a Catholic hospital has become a dangerous game of Russian roulette."
The Reverend Thomas Doyle, a canon lawyer, said last week that the bishop "clearly had other alternatives than to declare her excommunicated". Doyle said that Olmsted could have shown her some mercy. He added that this case highlighted a "gross inequity" in how the Church chose to handle scandal.

McBride's support in the community is perhaps to be expected. An Irish-American, she achieved a bachelor's degree in Nursing and a Master's in Public Administration from the University of San Francisco, in addition to her religious training.


As a senior hospital administrator in a part of the US with more than its share of illegal immigrants, she was no stranger to making difficult, controversial choices. According to the New York Times, St Joseph's focuses on keeping down the cost of the uninsured and repatriates about eight uninsured patients per month. ]

http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/irish-nun-pays-ultimate-price-for-defying-bishop-in-abortion-case-2200425.html



Quote : [ The Bishop of Phoenix has announced that a Catholic nun and administrator of St. Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix has "automatically excommunicated herself" by approving an abortion on a woman who was 11-weeks pregnant, and whose life hospital officials allege they were trying to save.

Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted said the excommunications apply to all involved, and lambasted the hospital's defense. ]

http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=36604


Quote : [ One of the doctors said that four young women who decided to carry their pregnancies to term (despite my recommendation for termination); they all died either during pregnancy, delivery or within the postpartum period.

Sister Margaret was forced to choose between saving the life of a young mother of four and her faith.

- Robyn J. BarstScarsdale, N.Y., May 28, 2010
The writer is professor emeritus at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. ]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/30/opinion/lweb30kristof.html

Misinformation and Mindsets

Intelligent people can sometimes fall into traps of prejudices without knowing or acknowledging the fallacies of their own doing. The proliferation of myths on cyberspace despite avenues to verify and authenticate information. Many a time, we mislead by spreading misinformation. Some of us have inadvertently become messengers of falsehood and enjoying it. Imagine good old village gossips multiplied a million times over.

Since the Age of Reason and Enlightenment, we have been taught that logical thinking entails believing what you could see, feel and prove, and not on hearsay or what has been cast in stone. However, we often encounter people who would rather search for the slimmest clues which may remotely resembles or are totally urelated to fit into a theory or belief.
Instead of studying the evidence to arrive at a sensible and educational assessment, they love to base on hunches and assertions.

While history sometimes repeats itself, it is never the same every time. One cannot always look at the present and future by examining previous chapters that have closed. Just like the analogy of a flowing river over time. When one marks a point in the river at different times, can one say with certainty that this is still the same river as before and in future?

Unlike reverse engineers who deserve some credit and respect for putting in the hard work, misinformers who unknowingly or deliberately fabricate or tweak evidence are intellectually dishonesty. Liars could cry wolf for a while but their credibility will be dented. Contrary to common belief, life can still be interesting disseminating facts instead of sensational tales. Humility and open-mindedness would help to our ability to discern and promote better understanding.